i have no idea what i'm doing

knowing that whatever i'll do, THEY will talk about me and they'll judge me. I'm not alone. I'm never alone. I'm always watched. I hate how my own best friend just kept telling me every time someone talked about me, even as a way to punish me when he was angry at me. I have the proofs they talked about me, he told me. I'm so scared. I'm the ultimate news of shitty behavior for 1 minute and then I'll be invisible again. I'm sorry i'm like this. If it can help, I hate myself when I'm in public too. I need to destroy my own tongue and limbs so I can be fucking good and I'lkl never do something wrong ever again.

💡 Lesson

My paranoia is constantly being feed and I have no idea what to do anymore.